Waisting Time

Recently, for the first time in many years, I thought about my ex-sister-in-law.  I have three; this one was the skinniest of the bunch.  But I wasn’t thinking of her because of that.  Well, not exactly.  She popped into my head because I had a flashback about a peculiar habit of hers.  When dessert was served, she walked away.

Maybe I would never have noticed her doing this, if not for the video of my son’s first birthday party.  (That would be my oldest who is now 22!)  My husband and I sat and watched the video over and over, enjoying the cuteness of our rapidly growing baby boy.  We heard the regaling chorus of the Birthday Song and watched ourselves move to cut the cake.  And we noticed my SIL leave the room.

And one of us, I don’t remember which, made the connection that this was not a one time event.  We realized that every time dessert was served at a family gathering, the same thing happened:  SIL left the room.  Hmm.  Curious.  Why?  We didn’t care.  And we didn’t much think about it again.

Until just the other day.  When I was driving in my car, a place where random thoughts and epiphanies often pop into my brain.  And I thought about her.  And her potential calorie saving habit.  Because twice in the preceding (Passover/Easter) weekend I had been at family events and both times we had sat around the table for hours, with a variety of desserts in front of us.

There I sat; there sat the sweets.  Me.  Them.  I had a little bit.  I sat longer.  I had a bit more.  I sat longer.  More.  Longer.  Nibble, nibble, nibble.  Proximity and temptation united to win out over willpower.

Now, just to clarify, I didn’t really eat EXCESSIVE amounts.  There was no bingeing.  But, there was clearly a succumbing to temptation that would not have happened had I not sat at that those tables in front of those desserts for all those hours.

But, back to the car, and my thoughts of my SIL, who I hadn’t seen in years.  “Aha,” thought I.  “SIL would NOT have sat at the table.”  She’d not even have stayed in the same room, if possible.  Could this have been her strategy all along?  Could this be my new strategy?

Sometimes.  Maybe.  Sometimes not.  Because as I think about just walking away, I realize that at some social events, the gathering is really limited to the table.  Everyone sits.  Captive, almost.  As we talk.  And visit.  But at other times and places, the action is taking place all over and it would be a simple plan to excuse myself from one conversation (at the table) and join another outside hands’ reach of the treats.

So, that’s my new plan.  When I can, walk away.  When I can’t, sit and stay.  But I’m going to do my best to move the temptation as far across the table as I can!

Does your family sit around the table (and dessert) for hours too?  How do you handle it?  Ever notice any odd habits in family members?

It’s not too late!  You can still enter the Snikiddy Snack and grocery gift card giveaway!

Ah, April.  Longer days.  A farewell to winter; a promise of sun.  Green.  Flowering.  Spirit-lifting.

Ahhhhh, April.  An obstacle course of eating challenges.

This weekend starts it off.  With a bang.  And a barrage of social eating.  Friday dinner.  Saturday dinner.  Sunday, worst of all, hours and hours and hours of family and food and more food and more food.

Then next week… travel.  And the eating challenge to end all eating challenges for me – a road trip.  Eek.  Yikes.  Aaack.

I need a plan.  I don’t have a plan.  Yet.  Funny thing though – I’m not worried.  I’m, well, I’m “aware.”  I’m not dreading it.  I’m “anticipating” it.  Not eagerly mind you, as some might interpret that word.  But with realistic expectation.  And acceptance.  And, yes, some heavy sighing even as I type.

I know there will be a lot of food temptation.  Landmine after landmine.  I know that in the past I have struggled time and time again with similar challenges.  Oh, wait, I’m supposed to call them “opportunities!”

Social eating continues to be one of the hardest things for me to master on my journey to healthy living.  Finding the balance between partaking of off-plan food in moderation and not feeling overwhelmed with a sense of deprivation.  Deprivation is a strong emotion.  Emotions can lead to eating.  You know the cycle, I’m sure.  On the plus side, I seem to have conquered my past pattern of pre-cheating.  So an incident of social eating is now typical contained to just that – one incident.  But this weekend brings three.  Three days of relentless food onslaught.  Maybe I need to retitle this post The Hunger Games!

As for road trips, what can I say.  My last little jaunt in the car morphed into a food overload of binge eating as I gave in once more to my all-or-nothing thinking – that once I stray the least bit off plan, I might as well eat everything and anything until I get back home and on track.  Sigh.  And what is it about being in the car for hours on end that makes me want to eat!?

I don’t want to go there again.  (“There” being the mental state, as opposed to the state of Pennsylvania.)  I don’t want to be that person.  I don’t want to feel the sense of eating and eating yet finding no satisfaction.  I don’t want to feel the remorse.  The regret.  I don’t want “the morning after.”  Or the self-recrimination.

I want to go and enjoy myself and not really think about the food.  Not think about what I’m NOT eating.  Not think about what I’d regret eating.  Not think about what I wish I was eating.  Instead, I want to think “I can do this.”  And then I want to think “I did this.”  Or maybe, what I really want is to think nothing at all, to shut off my over-thinking reforming yo-yo dieter brain.

So that gives me the beginning of a plan.  The Little Engine that Could Plan.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.  Moderation, moderation, moderation.  I think I can.  I’m going to channel that thinking into a self-fulfilling prophecy of doing.  Words into action.  (Okay, I admit it, my fingers are crossed behind my back.)

What’s coming your way in April?

Photo credit [hellojenuine]